My Long Road Back
His accident left him with flashbacks and scars, but Freddie Flintoff feels ready to face the world thanks to his ragtag cricket team
BBC
- Terry Payne
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Andrew "Freddie" Flintoff, casually dressed in dark blue track suit, white socks and white Crocs, squeezes into the second row of the screening room in a bijou central London hotel. Already seated in the row in front of him are nine animated young men from his home county of Lancashire, one of whom is still chomping on the burger he arrived with. He greets them all as he would old friends. The strength of their bond is strikingly evident.
Flintoff is about to relive the aftermath of the crash in December 2022 in which he received severe facial injuries and that he now admits has changed his life for ever. The profound physical and mental impact of that Top Gear accident meant that filming the documentary series we’re here today to watch – an ambitious sequel to his heartwarming Field of Dreams – had to be postponed for more than a year to allow his recovery.
Ultimately, it was this ragtag bunch of teenagers sitting in front of him – recruited by Flintoff from the streets of his native Preston and shaped into something approaching a cricket team – who helped pull him back from the brink and towards fulfilling his dream of a second series tour of India.
As the film shows Flintoff in what appears to be a hospital bed talking about the crash, the former England all-rounder sitting directly in front of me in the screening room gathers his long legs up onto his seat and grasps them tightly.
I don’t want to feel sorry for myself. I don’t want sympathy
In the film, the extent of the injuries that he suffered – wounds to his nose and mouth – are now visible. The injuries are so significant that Flintoff’s words are, at times, barely discernible – “I genuinely should not be here with what happened,” he explains.
By way of apology for having to postpone the India trip following his accident, Flintoff adds: “It’s going to be a long road back, and I’ve only just started. But I’ve got to look at the positives: I’m still here and I’ve got another chance to have a go at it. I’m looking forward to seeing the lads and being around them. I really am. This India trip is for me as much as them. I am determined.”
Seven months later, after multiple operations to repair the facial injuries, we see him reflecting further in the film on the psychological damage caused by the crash.
“I thought I could just shake it off… but it’s not been a case of that. It’s been a lot harder than I thought. As much as I’ve wanted to go out and do things, I’ve just not been able to.
“I was full of anxiety. I had nightmares, I had flashbacks. It’s been so hard to cope with. But some of these lads have had a tough life. You’ve got to try and put it into perspective and I feel guilty I can’t do that. I don’t want to sit here and feel sorry for myself, I don’t want sympathy.” Anyone who knows the 46-year-old will tell you that he doesn’t do self-pity. But in the new series he admits he shut himself away as he tried to come to terms with what had happened. Deep down, though, he knew he had unfinished business and the loyalty he felt towards his Lancashire likely lads eventually propelled him out of the dark and into the dazzling light of Kolkata in India.
So, a year after the crash, but with his facial scars still very visible, he travelled to Preston to tell them the tour was back on.
Freddie Flintoff BBC/South Shore
It was an occasion that was charged with restrained emotion. “I missed you,” one of boys tells him. Another asks: “Are you feeling one hundred per cent?” “Not really,” comes the reply from Flintoff. “I don’t know if I will again, to be honest. I’m better than I was, but I don’t know what completely better is. I am what I am now. I’m different to what I was. It’s something I’ll have to deal with for the rest of my life. Better? No. Different.”
Sean, the 17-year-old over-active joker in the pack, offers his own heartfelt verdict. “He’s all right, but he’s not perfectly fine. But he were there for us; we’ve now got to be there for him while he’s going through this.”
It’s this chemistry – the powerful synergy between the humble, plain-talking, endlessly patient Flintoff and his wildly unpredictable, frequently immature, unworldly charges – that make this Indian rite-of-passage such an uplifting, frequently hilarious, and surely award-winning TV triumph.
The culture shock is, of course, a film-maker’s gift. Flintoff challenges three of the boys to take control of the cooking for one night and despatches them to the city’s noisy and bustling market to buy some food. They return with chips, chicken nuggets, mozzarella dippers, chicken poppers and onion rings – all from the supermarket! Flintoff, showing the man-management skills that will serve him well in the coaching career in cricket that he still cherishes, plays a straight bat of gentle sarcasm infused with praise. “Lovely, this, an absolute treat. Nice to have an authentic Indian meal. But joking aside, you’ve had a go, you’ve put food on the table – seriously, thank you very much.”
I found a confidence in India that I’d been lacking
As the series unfolds the boys learn more about themselves, more about India and a bit more about their cricketing limitations. There were life lessons for Flintoff as well: “It’s so strange because I feel I’m father to nine lads at the minute. I feel really responsible. Elements of nerves as well, I must admit. I’ve not been away from home recently. When I left my four kids and the missus I wanted to have a good cry on the plane. So it’s mixed emotions for me, too.”
Speaking at the post-screening interview, he adds: “I suppose I found a confidence out there again, which I’d been lacking in recent times.”
When questioned, Flintoff also reflects on the changes he observed in the two-and-a-half weeks he had spent with the boys in India.
“It’s been incredible. There’s a massive difference in how they are as people. The thing that was most pleasing was that wherever we went they just gave such a good account of themselves and where they were from. You just saw their confidence grow and grow and on the way back it was a different group. They’re young men now ready to tackle the world. They all came back with an idea of what they wanted to do with their life; before we left, not too many did.”
It will be fascinating to see where they all are in five years, but for now they’re enjoying a day out in the capital. When the screening ends they spill out onto the streets of the West End to vape and let off steam. Two of them boisterously play-fight while one of two BBC publicists charged with chaperoning them screams, “Stay out of the road!” Just feet away, al fresco lunching ladies look up from their fishbowl-sized Camparis wondering what the rumpus is all about.
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“Of course, they’re a motley crew,” says Flintoff. “But I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Authors
Terry Payne
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